Dear Drunk Lisa
Tomorrow you are going to wake up and want to die, you are going be anxious, more anxious then ever before, you are going to hate yourself, feel sick and feel like you have let everyone in your life down, you.ll start to worry about all the things you have said and done you’ll worry about the future, you will tell yourself you are a shit parent and you are going to promise yourself that you are not going to drink for at least 100 days,
What you don’t know yet is that although tomorrow is going to be tough it’s going to be the first day of the rest of your life. You are going to learn how to love yourself, respect yourself and find out what makes you tick, you are going to spend lots of time on your own, sometimes you will feel lonely but it is OK, you are not going to be frightened infact you are going to cherish and love those moments, you’ve never really fitted in, and just like you are doing now you drink way more than what is classed as normal to try and cover this up. this is all coming to an end, The loneliness, the anxiety, the self loathing is all going to stop. You are going to meet new people that you connect with, you are going to find things to do that make you happy, your kids are going to drive you up the wall, they are going to test you, people will wonder how you are coping without a drink but it’s going to be worth it and your kids are gonna love the new you. Your marriage is going to end but deep down you have always known that is the right thing to do, you’ve just never had the confidence before, this is one of the reasons you are drinking every weekend. stop trying to cover everything up and numb things out, you are going to deal with it, hey you are even going to be friends. You are going to spend time listening instead of talking, you are going to learn to meditate, and be more mindful, you’ll enjoy going out for long walks in the hills, you are even going to buy a bike, you will go to concerts and early morning raves, you will dance sober, your business is going to flourish,it’s going to be the best ever and you are also going to start a brand new business with your best friend, she’s going to go sober too next year, oh and your mum, your mum is going to stop drinking after seeing how happy you are, and your relationship is going to be better than ever, you are going to learn so much about yourself, you’re going to be kinder to yourself and others , you’ll be a good friend, mum and daughter, you will set up a meet-up group in Manchester and loads of people will join and meet each other, they’ll make friends and be able to support each other, you’ll help people see that Sober is not boring, you’ll be a part of a huge global movement and meet people from all around the world, you’ll talk to authors and start a podcast with your best friend, people will listen to it, it will help them see that they are not on there own. You will start to become the very best version of yourself. Your family will be proud of you, your friends will be proud of you, and you will be proud of you, Some days will be tough and you will start to feel feelings that you have not felt since being a child, but you will be able to handle them, you will embrace them, you will learn to sit with them, you will cry hard some days and on other days you’ll laugh so hard you might pee a bit but you will be able to handle anything and everything that is thrown at you, you will be stronger than ever oh and you’ll go and get that mini convertible you’ve always wanted.
So tomorrow when you wake up I want you to know that you are strong, you are loved, and you can handle anything. This is just the beginning, one day you will look back and the only regret you will have is that you didn’t ditch the drink 10 years earlier
Lots of Love From Sober Lisa
Dear Drunk Alex
Why are you sitting over in that corner all bitter and angry? Tonight was supposed to be fun right? Come on, you know we enjoy a few red wines and those cocktails. What happened to the singing and dancing that happened half an hour ago. That head of yours is such a crazy place to be these days. You see, you poor thing, it’s not fun anymore and you know it. You HATE feeling this way and you hate yourself right now and you just don’t deserve to be treated this way. I really, really need you to listen to me, pleaaaaase!!!!
Right now you feel horrible, tomorrow will be even worse. You’re going to wake up and swear for the millionth time to yourself and your husband that you will never drink again. Thing is lovely, you’re gonna mean it. You’re going to take a photo of yourself and a little video and you’re gonna speak to Lisa. You know this has been coming for ages and even though hardly anyone will think you’re serious, you will be. You’re gonna play it safe and quit for 30 days, but deep down, you’ll already know this is forever. Don’t be scared! And don’t be sad. There is a life waiting for you beyond anything alcohol could ever offer, you just don’t know how to do it yet, but you will. You will feel nervous commiting but it’s what you need to do to get your life on track and to stop this hateful horrible bullying you do to yourself every weekend. You’re a good person, intelligent, fun, and oh so deserving of a happy life and you’re gonna fucking get it! I know you don’t believe me right now but even though the next 12 months will be bumpy at times, you won’t ever falter. Your life will get better and better and better.
First of all. You’re gonna leave your job. You’ll grow a pair of balls and stand up to them and you will leave. Not only will you leave but you’ll know in your heart it’s the best thing for you. You’re also gonna go into business with your best friend and it’s going to be amazing. You will meet so many sober people and can you believe you’ll start a podcast and interview proper famous people hahaha, I promise. You will dance and sing and laugh like a child. You will be such an amazing wife, friend and mother. You will heal. All those things you get bitter about now will be dealt with. You will grieve and talk and actually deal with all that shit that you’ve numbed out for years.
Now listen, you’re gonna get fatter. And we both know you don’t like to put weight on but for the first time ever you won’t even care. You’ll know you can lose weight after you get your life together and you will know that it’s not the reason you quit drinking, you will actually be reasonable about it. One piece of advice, stop eating chocolate buttons ffs.
So anyway, I want to just give you a couple of pointers that might help you along the way. Firstly, you don’t know how to deal with anxiety other than wine and we both know that doesn’t help even though we say it does. Breathe deeply, try to stay focused on the moment and don’t think too far ahead about things that might happen. This will practically cure you in a few months. Secondly, don’t tell yourself you can’t drink. It’s like buying a red car and noticing all the red cars. If you tell yourself you can’t you’ll think of wine in the morning, and that wasn’t even a time you would’ve thought about wine when you did drink. You can have a drink whenever you want one, you’re just gonna choose not to. I’m going to give you one more piece of advice and believe me, I could give you loads but I think you’ll have fun discovering things for yourself. So this advice is a practical piece for you. Please start going for a wee more regularly because over the next twelve months, you’ll find yourself peeing your pants with laughter on far too many occasions if you don’t, either that or invest in Tena lady.
So Alex, get off to bed and pass out for now, for tomorrow is a new day. Go easy on yourself, try to sit up at the breakfast bar when you eat because you actually eat horizontally and it’s not a good look. Drink some water and brush your teeth, you look and smell like shit!
Sober Alex (Day 365)