So this is a surprise, I am actually writing a blog post about being sober and single, Kind of ironic coming from someone that had their first boyfriend at the age of 4 years old and could drink most people under the table by the time she was 14.
Turns out that being sober and single is actually fricken awesome and I wanted to share with you why
1 – You have more money and you can spend it on whatever you want. Being sober saves you a fortune and the best part, you don’t have to ask for anyone’s permission to spend it or wait for your birthday to receive a present. You can just buy whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want it. Seriously I just had the most beautiful mala bracelet delivered to my door, a crystal necklace and a razor with my name engraved on it (yep I am serious) and I don’t have to explain it to anyone, I don’t even have to pretend it was cheaper than it was.
2 – Time Saved – You can spend all that saved time learning how to do some self loving (no not that kind, unless you want to of course) Self love and self care is so underrated, when the kids are out, I don’t feel pressured to spend time watching or doing things I don’t want to do just to please somebody else, instead I spend time with the kids, meditating, walking, biking, running, sitting, having a bath, face masks. I don’t have to worry about sitting down for my tea or watching a film that I’d never watch at a certain time. All that time saved can be spent doing the things you love.
3 – Improved sleep – You can sleep in peace and quiet, no being disturbed, and no being woken up with somebody snoring in your ear, unless you count me waking myself up with the odd snort. You can go to bed when you want and wake up when you want. what is it with people having to go to bed at the same time, I always find that so weird. I go to bed when I want now sometimes its mega early, sometimes its mega late. The actual quality of my sleep has massively improved, the duvet never gets pinched and I can control the temperature of my own bedroom, its never too hot for one or too cold for another.
4 – improved mood – When you live with a partner your moods tend to rub off on each other, We cant control how other people feel or what they do, being sober and single means if you are having a great day you aren’t going to be brought down by anyone, equally if you are having a shit day its less likely to be made worse when you have no one to blame for stuff.
5 – Friendships improve – Being sober does make you less selfish which is bound to improve your friendships, being single makes you more available to your friends too, you can answer the call without worrying about what time of day it is, whether your partner has just walked through the door, or has plans for you, no one grunting or rolling their eyes because you have been on the phone laughing for too long.
6 – Spiritual growth – I think when you get sober its only natural to start developing some spiritual areas of your life. Being single means you can do these without judgment. Often when exploring new hobbies, changing career, having a gong bath, this can all be done without judgment, unhibited by the opinions, thoughts, like and dislikes of your partner that may have an undue influence on the direction you take. Being single means you can pretty much do what the fuck you want!
7 – Dating – when you get sober you get to meet so many brilliant, amazing people, being single means that if you want you can date them. providing of course they actually wants to date you too.
8 – improved taste – food tastes so much better once you ditch the drink, being single means you can eat what you want, where you want. when you want. Food is a big part part of getting sober, the whole where shall we go to eat conversation. one of you always must compromise. Not anymore, you want to go vegan, you can do, you want to eat cake for breakfast without being judged, you go for it!
9 – Meditation – this is kind of personal to me, but since going sober my morning meditations have changed my life, my whole day goes right if I stick to my morning routine, having somebody in my bedroom in the morning means you can’t really chant away, ohm or make any other weird meditation noises without being judged.
Writing this blog has helped me realise why I might be single, I am just not willing to compromise any of the above things, I love my own space, my pretty bedroom, spending my money on what I want, eating where I want, going to bed when I want, getting up when I want, chatting on the phone when I want. I am sure there are things I will miss about being in a relationship, but true to form it’s just not my style to waste time worrying about all things we don’t have when we can spend our time being grateful for all that we do have. I am sure there are lots of positives to being sober and in a relationship too. Who knows maybe I’ll write a blog about that one day. But for now I am truly happy doing my own thing sober and single.